Through the Fog

Life since traveling has been like stumbling through Fog Soup. I haven’t been posting enough because I can’t hardly string sentences together in coherent trains of thought. I have moments that work well but usually those are consumed with focusing on my children and on my husband because they need that extra attention. And ladies, if you haven’t figured it out yet, your husbands need almost more attention than your children. Yes, you heard that right.

Your husbands need almost more attention than your children

Anyways, back on track. So life since travel has been anything but the rest I’ve needed. Continue reading

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My Summer Highlight

6, 3, 3 mo, camping, archery, and fibromyalgia. I must be crazy right?! Maybe a little but it was so incredibly worth every moment.

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In my last post I was freaking out a bit about how much I still needed to get done and didn’t have spoons to do it. I was able to get most of it done after baby fell asleep. And some things simply just didn’t get done, like folding the clean laundry.

Of course we ended up pulling out about an hour later than intended. 3 kids and a husband that needs prompting and my own body refusing to function like I needed it to, it’s what happens. But we got there 3 hrs later and that’s what matters. It was a gorgeous drive through the Columbia Basin Gorge and into the high plains of Oregon.

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Poking my Bruises

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One day this will be my next tattoo

May 12th is fibromyalgia awareness day, so I thought I’d let you know what it’s like to live with fibromyalgia, and what it feels like. I have multiple health problems that all affect each other but I’ll just be focusing on fibro for this post.

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1: You can do anything you want….
You’ll just pay for it later.  This was really hard for me to learn because it was a self taught lesson. I’ve had fibro since I was 16 (possibly earlier but definitely since 16) and despite all the doctors I saw, fibro wasn’t even considered as a possible diagnosis. I was flexible, I did sports (I definitely don’t anymore), I was young. I used to ride dirt bikes, but then that night would be in horrible pain. I would travel and want to die from the pain. I would hike, but once I got to my campsite not be able to move for a day or more. Continue reading

25 Weeks and Total Fibro Flaring

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I just found this in my drafts and realized I never posted it. Since this post has a lot about having Fibromyalgia while being pregnant I decided to go ahead and post it anyways, even though baby has been born.

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I seriously contemplated waiting for another day to post about 25 weeks and everything that’s come with it. Or post about it, minus pictures. But then. It wouldn’t be very accurate would it? I don’t always have good days. Or even decent days.

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Fibro Fog is in full effect. I can’t remember half of what this post was going to say. My husband, bless his heart, has been being mostly patient with me forgetting the rest of the sentence. Trying to decode my inability to remember basic words and string them together. I’m guessing that a part of it is Pregnancy Brain, but I have no idea. I have no prior knowledge of pregnancy without fibro to compare it to.

This is the first week I’ve really “felt” pregnant. A good part of that is how much I”m dealing with outside the pregnancy. My husband is coming off Paxil, he’s only been on it a month, but daaang. its doing quite a number on him in the withdrawal/weaning phase. That means that parenting is solely on me.  (MAJOR STRESS OVERLOAD)

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We’ve had a number of storms then nice weather and now storms again. I can more accurately predict the weather than the weatherman thanks to this wonderfully faulty body of mine. The perk of storms is that I absolutely love them despite the pain. I love the rain, and wind and everything else that comes with storms.

Ok. So in the last post I talked about everything that’s been going on Busy-wise this week. Hubby spent Wednesday with my dad replacing insulation at my grandma’s. Mum and I worked on the Mother Goose quilt, pink quilt and shared child supervision. Mum’s house while not a major safety hazard for children, also isn’t childproof. Which, it shouldn’t be. The boys are only there occasionally. They dealt with less than optimal couches and whatnot while we were kids. Now that we’re gone, they’ve gotten new leather couches. mmmm those are heavenly btw. I can’t wait to have nice things again. It just requires way more focused parental supervision. BUT…. they have a backyard which is WONDERFUL. I loved that yard growing up and its nice to toss the boys outside. Then Thursday was spent with Papa and Hubby tearing down our old playhouse and working on prepping for the new shed they’ll be building. Thursday night I made dinner (super yummy Elk Stroganoff) then drove back up to Salem to pay rent and to get the Mother Goose quilt and burp cloths to my client. And drive back down. By the time I got back to my parents my body was on full lockdown. I couldn’t stand up straight. I hobbled rather than walked. Movement was done by sheer will power. Thankfully the guest room now has a queen size bed instead of the double that my husband did NOT fit on. 🙂 Instead of hanging over the end f the bed, he’d sleep diagonal. “you’re small, you don’t need much room” thanks hubby. But anyways, that wasn’t an issue this time.

Sleeping in a bed that isn’t yours, its a fibro nightmare. Scratchy sheets, different mattress, different lighting, I’d say different pillows but I brought my own. 🙂 Add to all that…. Hubby with major RLS flare due to med change. Ugh. I woke up wishing I were dead.

Friday. I didn’t do much. I made sure the boys weren’t annoying the men. But until about 3 in the afternoon, we didn’t do projects or anything. But I still didn’t feel like I could just be me. No curling up on the couch ignoring the world.

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Today is a complete NOPE day. Because of the rain the guys decided not to work today. I’d happy dance if I could. I did get a shower. Mostly because Papa turned off the water yesterday before I could get one. But having used a surplus of spoons and norco over the week, things like cute clothes and makeup didn’t happen. I won’t apologize for not clearing the towels or cleaning everything before my Baby Week picture. I couldn’t do it today. And I think its important that sometimes it shows that with Fibro or any chronic illness, sometimes life isn’t peachy and perfect.

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Belly has finally “popped”. Its out there for the world to see now.

Symptoms:

Swelling– oh yes. Mostly my feet, mostly because I’ve been doing way more than I usually do. A little in my hands when the rest of me is protesting.

Heartburn is in full swing. Doc prescribed me Zantac to take twice a day, plus I take tums and papaya extract. I love that my babies come out with lots of hair and look all cute, but the heartburn. UGH!

Pinched Nerves– With D I lost almost all the feeling in my hands. I had to quit working because I could no longer scruff a kitten (I was a shelter manager for a feline rescue) 3 weeks before he was due. This baby seems to want to torture me a little sooner than that. Thankfully its only been occasional and brief but its a foreshadowing of what is to come.

I know there had been more to say. But I can’t figure out what it was. As it is, this post has taken me an hour and a half to write. So I’m out of broken spoons.

Stop the Pain!

Being pregnant is hard enough on a “normal healthy” body. In one of my pregnancy apps there is a community forum section and I’m constantly hearing about everyone’s pains that they don’t know how to deal with. Add in Fibromyalgia and Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction and I usually feel like my body and the baby are trying to kill me.

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One Step Closer

My journey of chronic pain started when I was 13, compounded when I was 16 (twice), again when I was 18 and yet again when I was 20 (again twice).

I didn’t fully it though until I was 22. Even then it really was a partial acceptance. It became something I had but damned if I was going to change my life for it. By 24, I realized I needed help, more than just doctors pushing pills at me but not really listening to me.

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