Today Took Me Back

At points throughout our illnesses we have highs and we most certainly have lows. Many lows. Yet, we’re amazingly resilient and climb and claw our ways out of despair time and time again.

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Most days I manage on a Meh Level. I’m existing. I’m functioning (my version, not a healthy persons). But that’s about it. Other days I’m able to feel like Super Mom and well, almost “normal”. But then life has a way of reminding me, I”m far from normal. Though, if you ask my husband, its the only reason he married me. “I don’t want normal, I want you” Today was a crashing day. A day that took me back to high school.

It started out badly, like most awful days. Its rarely one bad thing, its usually “the straw that broke the camels back”. Today there was lots of straw. Findlay has been On-One. Any parent will understand. Continue reading

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Adjusting to a New Normal

Life is full of ups and downs. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on it, life is quick to remind you it’s been playing this game far longer than you’ve been alive. I was feeling like Chronic Super Mom. Obviously not the a normal Super Mom with a perfectly clean house, makeup and hair done, but hey, I think still rank up there in the chronic mom world.

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Raising 3 boys, homeschooling them, having a small quilting business, walking a mile every night so the boys can play at the park and then doing the archery events thoughout the summer. I felt like I was managing.  Some days were better than others. That’s life as a chronic mom. But then life screeched to a halt. My happy whatever you want to call it came crashing down and I all I want to do is disappear. Its taken everything in me, all my years of experience with depression and fighting anxiety to keep from becoming that person again. 8 years ago when life crashed around me I didn’t have anyone who depended on me but last time I didn’t have support, this time I do. Continue reading

What doesn’t kill us makes us wish it had

July really just hasn’t been the best month. Mostly it’s been recovery or it’s supposed to be recovery. Yet….. Really it hasn’t been. I started the month out with that fun but non vacation- vacation to California.

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Great grandma, cousins, fair, bow shoot, 13+ hrs car travel with kids, non vacation-vacation

Then birthdays and a sprained back because I’m special like that! Yep. When I overdo it, my body says that’s enough, if I keep overdoing it my body says “I said “bloody fing stop! Or I’ll make you!” and it made me.  Continue reading

Through the Fog

Life since traveling has been like stumbling through Fog Soup. I haven’t been posting enough because I can’t hardly string sentences together in coherent trains of thought. I have moments that work well but usually those are consumed with focusing on my children and on my husband because they need that extra attention. And ladies, if you haven’t figured it out yet, your husbands need almost more attention than your children. Yes, you heard that right.

Your husbands need almost more attention than your children

Anyways, back on track. So life since travel has been anything but the rest I’ve needed. Continue reading

Dream Cream?

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“I have been given this product as part of a product review through the Chronic Illness Bloggers network. Although the product was a gift, all opinions in this review remain my own and I was in no way influenced by the company. ”

Dealing with Chronic Pain, I am ALWAYS looking for whatever pain cream, essential oil blend, supplement or whatever natural alternative I can incorporate into my daily life to mitigate the use of heavy medications. Right now I’m fighting with the insurance company because they don’t want to pay for my Norco prescription because they don’t think I need to be on it (bleepity bleep bleep bleep) and the don’t have record that I’m trying non-opioid pain relief options. Ugh. My doctor knows full well everything I try which is why she’s willing to let me take my low dose of Norco without complaint. Anyways. Off my mini rant. Basically where I was going with that was when I was given the opportunity to try a new pain cream I jumped all over it!!!! YES PLEASE! Especially during these busy summer months.

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With back to back Archery events between when I signed up for the review and when I received the product, I had completely forgotten about it. With fibro, you have to keep moving, sometimes and almost especially when you least want to. Imagine my delighted surprise when I very very slowly and painfully waddled my way down to the mailbox and found a package waiting for me! Continue reading

Cute and Comfy

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At this exact moment I’ve been sitting in my mom’s car for 13 hours. We’re still another hour to my parents before we switch our stuff over to the van and drive the final hour home.

Vacationing takes energy/spoons that I simply don’t have extras of.

Those trips to California are nice for seeing everybody but it’s no vacation.  It’s more work than work. -husband

Last thing I need is restrictive clothing. But as I’m not hiding on my couch, I can’t just wear my husband’s old concert shirts and his Dutch Harbor sweat pants. Continue reading